A family of four, including a toddler and a newborn baby, enters a cinema for a late show. The movie is rated PG-13 and the baby soon begins to wail thanks to the booming Dolby sound, while the bored toddler tears around the theater. None of the dozens of other spectators complain. A neighbor throws yet another loud party which is still going on after sunrise. Nobody complains. Another neighbor starts an illegal auto body shop on the street, spraying toxic compounds and paints into the surrounding air. Nobody does anything to stop him. A taxi driver talks on a cell phone, music blaring on the radio, all the while going at top speed. His customers don’t protest.

What is going on here? If it was the United States, these boors would meet with loud protests almost immediately, and maybe a visit from the authorities. But this isn’t the US. We’re in virtually any country in the developing world, where complaining typically isn’t part of the culture. The reason behind such tolerance is usually because it is seen as uncouth and even dangerous to complain. You don’t call the police because they’re likely corrupt and if they do come, they’ll do nothing if the wrongdoer pays a bit of hush money (it need not be much).

If you express your discontent, there’s a good chance you’ll be ignored or the offender will spew profanity in your direction. In some cases interfering with your neighbors, whether you’re right or wrong, could result in retaliation. In a place such as Colombia, the thinking is that the person you go up against could be connected to criminals, which could lead to serious consequences. In any land where the law is weak, self-preservation dictates that you take a deep breath, stay calm and endure!

As a foreigner, I’m even less likely to complain than the locals are! I’ve learned that if I object to something, I’m likely to get the “stupid gringo” response. More importantly, I’m a stranger in a strange land, and the word of a local will always carry more weight than my own. A mere accusation against me could result in my incarceration in squalid conditions, as the rule is typically “guilty until proven innocent” rather than the other way around. We “gringos” too easily escalate the most trivial disputes into heated legal battles. When you’re in a developing country, you won’t have the same latitude or protection, so once again, grin and bear it!

Whether you’re living in a far away land or just visiting, do as the locals do: bite your lip and walk away. Enjoy what’s best about your host country, but steer clear of any potential trouble.

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