Speak Argentinian in Five Minutes!
Dec 17th
Argentina is unlike any other Spanish-speaking country in Latin America, except for its close cousin, Uruguay. Its population is overwhelmingly white European, primarily descendants of Italian, German, Spanish and French immigrants, and thus its culture is a mix of these, plus what it inherited from the Gauchos, the mestizo cowboys who roamed the plains that cover much of this vast country. I lived two and a half years in Santa Fe province, where I picked-up quite a bit of Argentinian Castellano, the country’s Spanish dialect. To this day, I frequently get “you sound like an Argentinian!”, whether it be from Spaniards, Mexicans or Colombians. Here is a compilation of some of the unique words and expressions you are likely to hear in Buenos Aires, Rosario, Mendoza, or anywhere else in Argentina…
Buenos Aires. Photo by Victoria Rachitzky
boludo / a (bow-loo- do/dah) : Hate to start the list with a vulgarity, but it is one you will hear constantly! It means “idiot”, but it is often used affectionately. You, as the foreigner, should refrain from uttering the word, lest you want a shiner! Boludez (bowl-loo-dess) : a stupidity.
pelotudo / a (pey-low-too- do/dah) : Also means idiot and is also used frequently.
vos (vauss): Used instead of “tu“, meaning “you”.
sos (sauss): Used instead of “eres“, or “are”. Ex: “Vos sos Edward?” (are you Edward?)
che (tchey) : Short for “escuchame” or “listen to me”. Used as an exclamation to call your attention to the rest of the sentence.
quilombo (kee-loam-bo) : chaos, mess, disaster. Sounds like an African word, but it is not!
frutilla (froo-tee-shaw) : strawberry. The rest of the Latin world says “fresa“.
anana (ah-naw-nah) : pineapple. Rest of Latin America : piña.
pomelo (po-may-lo) : grapefuit. In the rest of Latin America: torronja.
laburo (law-boo-row) : work / to work. Comes from Italian.
micro (mee-crow) : bus. The bus can be huge, with 2 floors, but still be a micro. No idea how that came to be.
colectivo (co-lay-tee-vo) : Any kind of bus. In the rest of Latin America, it is a shared taxi.
remisse (ray-meess) : a taxi without a meter. If it has a meter, it is just a taxi! Truly a strange word!
porron (pore-ron) : If you are in Sante Fe, this is a large bottle of beer.
goma (go-mah) : a tire. In the rest of Latin America, a goma is a rubber eraser, while a tire is a neumatico.
coche (co-tche): automobile. In other Spanish speaking countries: horse drawn carriage.
concha (con-tcha) : should be shell, but in Argentina it’s vagina.”concha de la lora“, or “the parrot’s vagina”, is a frequent swear.
deja de joder (day-haw day ho-dare) Stop screwing around! Get serious!
boliche (bo-lee-tchay) : Should mean “bowling alley”, but in Argentina it is a discotheque!
confiteria bailable (con-fee-tay-ree-ah bye-la-blay) : confiteria means pastry shop, but put together with “bailable”, it is a discotheque!
dulce de leche (dool-say day lay-chay) : Similar to caramel and exceedingly popular as a pastry filling.
trucho (troo-tcho) : bogus, fraudulent. Elsewhere, it is just a trout!
bombacha (bom-bah-tcha) : women’s underwear.
corpiño (cor-pee-gno) : bra
remera (ray-may-rah) : T-shirt
chomba (tchaum-bah) : sweater
campera (cam-pay-rah) : jacket.
pollera (po-shay-rah) : skirt.
bronca (bron-cah) : anger
morocho / a (mo-ro- tcho / tchah): black or dark skinned person.
negro / a (nay-grah) : Same as morocho/a, but often used affectionately between friends. Even a slight tan or dark hair can earn you the nickname “negro”.
pavada (pah-bah-dah) : banal or stupid, as in saying something stupid.
chocho (tcho-tcho) : happy.
floriflor (flo-ree-floor) : rosy, as in “everything’s rosy”. Often used sarcastically.
pileta (pee-lay-tah) : swimming pool. “picina” in the rest of the world.
chino (tchee-no) : could mean Chinese, but more often “child”.
birome (bee-roh-may) : pen for writing.
piola (pee-o-lah) : sympathetic, endearing.
media luna (mey-dee-ah loo-nah): croissant.
cortado : small strong coffee with milk.
cafe americano : large coffee, what would be a normal coffee cup in North America.
alfajor (alpha-hor) : very popular cookies with a layer of dulce de leche (usually) in between. Different styles according to region.
diario (dee-ah-ree-oh) : newspaper. “Periodico” in the rest of the world.
liso (lee-soh): draft beer, usually served in a normal glass, not a bock.
balon (bah-lone) : draft beer, but in large round glass.
picada (pee-cah-dah) : Argentines like to share “picadas” a single large plate loaded with cheeses, olives, and a wide variety of snack items.
lomito (loh-mee-toh) : a sandwich consisting mainly of French crusty bread and fried sirloin steak inside.
asado (ah-sah-doh) : What Argentines die for, literally. A pile of barbecued cow entrails, including tripe, salivary glands, kidneys, blood sausage as well as chorizo (sausage).
bife chorizo (bee-fay tcho-ree-tso): Nothing to do with the sausage, this is a huge cut of meat, preferably cooked a bit red.
That’s it for this lesson, maybe I will do a second class in the near future, but before that I’ll give you a glimpse of how Argentinians live on a day to day basis in my next article. They are quite fascinating, I assure you!
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The “Anything Goes” Culture
Dec 3rd
I was just thinking of ways to explain the philosophy of “anything goes” that prevails in virtually all of the developing world when my friend, Linda, a fellow expat Canadian living since forever in Cozumel (Mexico) gave me the perfect example. She woke up one morning to a full fledged carnival on her doorstep!
The carnival being assembled, eventually filling the street
Blocking her street completely, the 12 day midway is organized by a neighborhood church, which has ample space on its own grounds, but prefers to host the event on the narrow thoroughfare instead. Thus, from noon to eleven during twelve days, Linda and her neighbors have to endure high decibels and vibrations which would drive anybody insane. Linda can’t work, can’t have a phone conversation or relax in any way, so she’s left with no option but to leave her home for the period.
Linda’s tried speaking to the priest at the church, but he basically told her to go to hell. She also contacted the local authorities only to be told they can’t do anything. The church never consulted the people of her neighborhood, all of which except one, who (lucky him) isn’t in town till after the carnival, are afraid of the padre and refuse to join her in protesting against this disruption of their home life.
Mexico, like so many other places in the developing world, lives by the rule of “I’ll do what I want and you’ll do what you want“. Complaining is rare and considered ill mannered, even though it is your neighbor that is being uncivil. Call the police? You can, but typically, a third world police force is a bit of a sham, and nobody respects them. If the cops show up at all, the noisy party might stop for a few minutes, but it will start up again shortly after at a higher volume than before just to punish you for interfering with their fun.
Thus, if your neighbors want to party noisily all night despite the rules, they will, and nobody will stop them. If they want to open an illegal car repair business at the curb, they will. If they want to open a nuclear laboratory in their house, they will! I’ve seen it all since living in that other world: in Cozumel, in Argentina, in Mauritius, and in Colombia. For an expat, it’s no use complaining — you’ll just get their ire and the usual “stupid gringo, mind you own business!” or something similar.
Like it or not, that’s how the rest of the world works, so if you cannot accept what you cannot change, then you best not try living in that other world! Doesn’t make it right, of course!
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Let’s be Honest — Air Travel is Hell!
Nov 24th
Recently my wife and I sat around a table with two other couples who are good friends in Florida. The topic turned to air travel and the consensus was that it is hell. We all love discovering new places, but getting there has become more and more unpleasant over the years…
Everybody’s a Terrorist!
The tipping point in air travel comfort was September, 2001. The terrorist attacks of that day turned the airlines into sacred cows and all travelers into potential terrorists. Since the 9-11 terrorists used box cutters, anything remotely sharp can’t be on your person or in your carry-on luggage. Nail clippers? Weapon! A British gent of a certain age made me laugh when he told the story of how his cigar clipper was confiscated by security agents. He asked them “What do you think I would do with it? Circumcise the captain?”
It was over ten years ago, but instead of relaxing security measures, they have gradually been made worse each time a new terrorist plot failed. I emphasize failed. First it was the Wiley E Coyote style shoe bomber who was foiled while trying to light the fuse in his loafer. Ever since, we have to remove our footwear at the security checkpoint. Even the Road Runner knows Wiley E’s crazy schemes never work!
Next came the evil geniuses who plotted, but never executed a plan to carry aboard chemicals in liquid form which they would have mixed during the flight to make explosives. I repeat, they never even boarded a commercial airliner, yet overnight, millions of dollars in bottled drinks, shampoo, cologne and even baby formula were forcefully thrown into garbage bins at airports all over North America by passengers surprised by a hastily imposed ban on gels and liquids. Knee jerk reaction? Eventually, the rule was relaxed a tiny bit to allow very small containers of liquids to be taken aboard, but still millions in perfectly good products are destroyed each year.
Then there was the underwear bomber, the nut who hid an explosive device in his Fruit of the Loom but only managed to singe his crotch. Thanks to this clown, we all have to undergo the humiliation of an intrusive pat down that includes our genitals, or being scanned by the infamous nude machine, the scanner that sees through our clothing. Why don’t they just make us all strip naked?! After all, our pants are already falling down from having to remove our belts! Now, in the USA, the TSA has started yet another security check: the chatdown, which consists in asking you inane questions about where you are going and for how long, looking for visual and audible clues in your reaction. Starting to feel like you’re being given the third degree by the Gestapo? Ah-ha, you flinched! Take him away!
All of these security measures are unpleasant and further extend the time it takes to board your flight. You used to be able to arrive at the airport minutes before departure, but now they want you to allow two hours before domestic departures and three for international ones. Hours and hours standing in lines or sitting around in boring, often overcrowded terminals. Yet your hell has not ended after surviving the initial humiliation crossing the security checkpoint!
You ARE a Sardine!
Most of us have to travel in coach, which is not designed for normal human beings. Leg room is non-existent, and if you’re even slightly tall, you’ll be contorted your entire trip. The airlines have insured further discomfort by making the seat backs reclinable, which means that if the passenger in front of you decides to take a nap, your legs will be crushed! There’s a few seats with ample leg room along the emergency exits and bulkheads, but now they’ve become premium seats you’ll have to pay extra for, as any semblance of comfort has become a luxury. Peta makes furious noises about the inhumane treatment to animals, but nobody has yet to throw a bucket of paint on airline officials!
To add insult to leg injury, these same airlines recommend doing exercises and walking around in the cabin in order to prevent blood clots forming from being so cramped into a small space for prolonged periods. Right, as if that makes any sense in full planes with narrow aisles. Why don’t you just give us the proper amount of leg space, you greedy devils?!
Everything’s Extra, including Cleanliness
Airlines continuously find new ways to make our travels yet more unpleasant, all in the name of increasing profit margins, but disguised as giving us more options or providing a better service. The cabin is no longer cleaned after each flight. Passengers deplane and new passengers immediately board. Less turnaround time, more flights, more money for them, filthy cabins for us. Flight frequencies have been pared down to fill more seats per plane. Direct flights are rare except if you depart from one of the airline’s hubs, which is another way for them to fill planes to capacity. Almost every airline now charges for luggage and one even charges you for your carry-on, and allowed weights per bag keeping getting smaller. Genius! Sneaky extra fares, plus less flying weight, thus less fuel consumption — win-win! Food and drinks are now at extra cost too except on the long haul direct flights. They even bilk you for the privilege of choosing you seat, or for booking by phone.
You ARE Unimportant!
Lastly, I find airlines’ classification of passengers despicable. Coach passengers are mired in an interminable line at the check-in, while “elite” class patrons jump ahead of us in full view. Loud signs remind us of their place and ours. Thus we’re already made to feel like the scum of the earth even before we board, never mind the silly little curtains separating our part of the cabin from the business or first class sections and the snippy stewardesses barking at us that we’re not allowed to use the forward lavatories let alone cross into the forbidden zone. Way to go, airlines, kudos to you for valuing our business and for discreetly reminding us of our lower rank. I’ve paid as much as $2500 for a round-trip economy ticket, a nice down payment on a car — I think I don’t deserve to be insulted for that kind of money!
I don’t know of any other business where the customer is so unimportant. The airlines are the martyrs of 9-11, and thus they are permitted to do the previously unimaginable, including keeping your entire fare if you have to cancel your flight. You used to be able to reserve your seat for free, but now the word reserve means buy. Raising your voice at any airline employee is enough to get you pepper sprayed and led away in handcuffs for acting like a terrorist. Nowadays you must walk on eggshells around airline personnel, same as you would around cops or the insane.
I hate every second of any trip by air, but until I find a quick way to travel thousands of miles in a day, I reckon I’ll have to endure the fondling and being bent into a pretzel! You win, you bastards!
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Are Round The World Fares Worth it?
Aug 1st
Some of the major airline code sharing alliances, such as OneWorld, SkyTeam and Star Alliance, offer round-the-world, or RTW, airfares. Many web sites extoll their virtues, but dollar for dollar, are these tickets really advantageous?
First off, you should realize that RTW fares come with many restrictions, some of which you wouldn’t face with a regular ticket. You can’t just hop on planes wherever and whenever you want on this type of plan: You have to choose one of their ready-made trajectories or design your own in advance. Typically, your itinerary cannot go through the same airport twice, unless it’s a hub and you’re just using it for transfers. Since your travel is limited to the small bunch of airlines that belong to the alliance, it can be rather challenging designing a plan that makes sense. For example, in Europe, One World has British Airways, so all your hops have to go through London. Want to go from Athens to Rome? You’ll have to go through London! Some RTW’s have a total distance limit, so all those useless jumps to London (or whatever hub) will eat away at that number, never mind that you’ll be sick of Heathrow!
To circumvent the lack of connecting flights, you might have to use land or sea travel to get to your next destination, but this won’t be covered by your RTW fare, and they’ll have the gall to count it towards your segment limit! Keeping fares low with a RTW package isn’t easy, because none of the discount airlines such as Southwest, Jet Blue, Spirit, Ryan Air or Air Berlin are part of any alliance, so you’re left with all the blue chip carriers.
Invariably, when I price my itinerary with Orbitz, my total cost winds-up being a lot less than any RTW plan, and without the unnerving difficulties in scheduling and routing that comes with the latter. Simply, you have a better chance of getting the cheapest flights and have many more flight options without the RTW plan, if you don’t mind using a wider range of carriers. It’s not true that all airlines charge as much or more for one way tickets than round trips. Some do, many don’t, especially the discount airlines. As for any air miles you might get from flying with one alliance, you have to wonder if it’s worth spending an extra thousand or two just for some points which you might not use.
Whatever you do, don’t stay home!
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Oh, Woe on you, US dollar!
Jul 10th
For several years now, the US dollar has been weak against most other currencies, despite still being the currency of reference in international trade. There was a strong but brief resurgence in its value when news of the US financial meltdown made headlines. Bad news is good news for greenback? What’s behind these upside down money markets?
The mighty dollar isn’t so mighty as it once was. First came the Euro, its first real competitor in the money market, followed by the roaring growth in China, Brazil, India and countless other economies that suddenly came alive. Their currencies became desirable and liquid rather than something you converted to a stronger currency such as the dollar to keep its value from being eroded by rampant inflation. The only factors which could now weaken these currencies are either local or world crises, which undermine investor confidence in the treasuries of export dependant nations and favors the US dollar, backed by the biggest and strongest domestic market on the planet.
For those of us who are rabid travelers or expats and are paid in dollars, what this all means is a big bite in our buying power when abroad. The monthly rent on your apartment suddenly passes from 500 to 700 dollars, even though the cost in the local currency has not changed! Visiting Japan, Brazil or Australia has now become a budget-buster and more than one adventurer cut back or even cancelled their next dream trip! There isn’t a lot you can do against these precipitous drops in the dollar’s value, except perhaps try to convert more to the local currency when the dollar has a significant uptick, because recent history shows us that such increases are always brief! Unfortunately, the dollar’s weakness looks to be a long term trend.
Although most countries’ currencies are now a lot stronger against the US dollar, there’s a few that have actually gone the other way. For instance, you’ll get more Argentinean Pesos for your dollar than in prior years (4.1 per at time of writing), although thanks to local inflation you might not actually get more goods for your money. The British Pound is quite a bargain too, costing you about $ 1.60 when it used to be about 2 dollars prior to the crisis. The Hong Kong dollar, on the other hand, has hardly changed in value since the former British colony was turned-over to China in 1999. Then there’s countries that peg the value of their currency on the dollar, thus protecting you from currency inflation: Panama, Ecuador and El Salvador, as well as a few British and Dutch islands.
